Why

U know why i'm messaging u?

Because i dream of u

U know why i'm dreaming of u?

because i miss u

U know why i miss u?

because i like u

u know why i like u?

because i love u

u know why i love u?

because u are special to me

u know why u are special?

because u are different from everyone else

u know why u are different?

because u are unique

u know why u are unique?

because u are only u

i felt ashamed on starting messaging u again

but i don't know why my hand typing that so fast and finally send that item to u

maybe my messy mind become irrational so that i did everything that i consider irrational indirectly :)

i WANT this happiness face again because there are some people commenting on my face reaction now.

Dia cakap muka saya mcm org x sihat and my smile just like not before.

i wonder how i must do now with the uncontrollable pimple on my forehead.

I'm worried of all these things.

Suma pon da tegur and they said that byk sgt pikir kot..thats why byk jerawat tumbuh kt dahi tu..

but! i don't know what am i thinking!

dream

dream of .... last night?
why?


against responsibility and intuition

two instead of one

I never lost one.

I LOST two!

I LOVE BOTH OF THEM.

But i know he wouldn't be mine.

and i know my mom is HARTA BERHARGA PINJAMAN SEMENTARA dr ALLAH S.W.T.

kadang2 terfikir kenapa dugaan ALLAH ni terlalu hebat

dan kita x terdaya menghadapinya.

tp ujian yg diberi itu mampu dihadapi oleh umatNya.

klu pk my sadness only there are so many people out there yg lebih tragis lg ujian dorg

:)

anyhow i need to be thankful for all the challenges.

dengan kehilangan org yg tersayang diikuti plak kerja yg skg ntah macam ape2

sume membuatkan kesedihan kte menjadi teramat la sedih n rase mcm xdaya je

tp ape nak buat.kehidupan mesti diteruskan

tp cakap n type or tulis memang senang

nak buat?

wallahualam bissawab

best mum ever :)

How Much I LOVE YOU mOm :)

I don't know what the best word to describe it

forgive me mom

maybe it's too late to seek for an apologize

but deep inside my heart I'm begging for a forgiveness

I'm a bad girl a bad child and a bad daughter.

the worst children that u ever have

I'm sorry for my wrongdoings

i know it's not good to regret but there are a lot of things to regret

i miss everything about u mom

i miss your voice

i miss your face

i miss your laugh

i miss your smile

i miss your hug

i miss your kiss

i miss when you are nagging at me

i miss when you are motivating me

i miss to hear you called me

mom...i miss you

by the time doc confirmed that you are no longer here

my world is blank

blur and the light become dim

as dim as there will be less light there

felt like fainted but thanks Allah,

i can stand and still strong

can face it even it is too hard

the pain inside my heart

i wonder why i saw the last time u breathe

i know it's so pain to endure it

there's a lot of things i want to show it to you

a lot of things to share with you

a lot of things to talk with you

but there's no more opportunity to do that

Allah won't let it happen again

Allah takes you from me.

forever.

Mom,

i got a sickness

no one can do like u did before

no one can wipe my tears

no one can bear to not to sleep tonight because i'm sick

i know u won't be here again indeed i do accept it

but sometime i can't believe it that u are no longer here..

i went to see u today

but i can't see u

i just can see the land

the place where u rest in peace

i can't hide my tears in front of that place

i don't know whether u saw me there

but i do believe that u know i went there

Mom,

there are too much i want to tell

maybe ppl will say i'm mad because i'm talking alone there

i'm hoping that u know i love n miss u

i can't endure this.

i know u won't let me sad all the way.

i promise mom, i try to be a good girl

one fine day i'm hoping that i will change myself

from worst to better.

please do pray for me.

Cause i know, Allah will fufil DOA from mother.

but i don't know now who will DOA for me same like u did before mom.

i don't feel secure like previous.

No one can replace u and be like u.

u are only u and the unique of u.

All of those picture were taken on April when 1st she admitted at HTJ Seremban 

and some were taken otw to HKL

she recited Yassin

She recited Yassin

The day before going to HKL and the BLOOD.

My Mom's name there.

She can't sleep that night and also got a fever.

OTW to HKL and she hold tasbih on her hand

my dad following us to HKL

the nurse ( i think) she is very nice person.

She recover after 3 weeks at HTJ but after a month later

and 2nd time admitted,

She gone and left us behind.

She left us on 19th June 2011 4.45 am.

17 Rejab 1432H

LET's recite Al-Fatihah to my MOM

Hajah Azizah Binti Hajah Norpiah.

May ALLAH bless U 

May U Rest in PEACE 

Ya Allah,

Ampuni dosa kami

Dosa ibu bapa kami

Dosa Keluarga kami

Aku bermohon kepadamu

Terangilah kubur ibuku

Janganlah Engkau sempit kan kuburnya

Ringankanlah siksaan ibuku didalam kuburnya Ya ALLAH,

sampaikanlah sedekah Al-Fatihah dan bacaan Al-Quran yang kami baca dan kirimkan untuknya Ya ALLAH.

Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Nasheed My Mother لسوف أعود يا أمي By Ahmed Bukhatir ,

لسوف أعود يا أمي
أقبّل رأسك الزاكي
أبتّك كل أشواقي
وأرشف عطر يمناك
أمرغ في ثرى قدميك
خدي حين ألقاك
أروي الترب من دمعي
سرورا في محياك

فكم أسهرت من ليل
لأرقد ملأ أجفاني
وكم أظمأت من جوف
لترويني بتحناني
ويوم مرضت لا أنسى
دموعا منك كالمطر
وعينا منك ساهرة
تخاف علي من خطر
ويوم وداعنا فجرا
وما أقساه من فجر
يحار القول في وصف الذي
لاقيت من هجري
وقلت مقولة لا زلــت
مدّكرا بها دهري
محال أن ترى صدرا
أحن عليك من صدري

ببرك يا منى عمري
إله الكون أوصاني
رضاؤك سر توفيقي
وحبك ومض إيماني
وصدق دعائك انفرجت
به كربي وأحزاني
ودادك لا يشاطرني
به أحد من البشر
فأنت النبض في قلبي
وأنت النور في بصري
وأنت اللحن في شفتي
بوجهك ينجلي كدري
إليك أعود يا أمي
غدا أرتاح من سفري
ويبدأ عهدي الثاني
ويزهو الغصن بالزهر


لسوف أعود يا أمي
أقبّل رأسك الزاكي
أبتّك كل أشواقي
وأرشف عطر يمناك
أمرغ في ثرى قدميك
خدي حين ألقاك
أروي الترب من دمعي سرورا في محياك

Kisah Hati

Kisah LALU Kisah Hati

ini bukan cinta

tajuk xbley blah

tp serious! ini bukan cinta tp nafsu

bukan perlu tp mahu

bukan hak tp hendak

bukan kepunyaan tp berkehendak

bukan memiliki tp mengambili

bukan iya tp bukan tidak

bukan dia tp hanya dia

bukan aku tp memang aku

aku tahu dia bukan untukku

utk kini dan selamanya

ayat2 mereng di atas adalah rekaan semata2

tiada yg berkenaan langsung mahupon x langsung walau pon bukan siaran langsung ke udara eyh

haha

BOSAN!

i know he won't be mine no matter what

but i just can't get rid of him

can't far from him

can't go without him

him!

i finally fallin' luv with him

him?

i don't want to get close of him please find me a way..i'm lost in my own world..

merayap

ahad aritu...konon je la duk umah sewa sgt kan

mmg la i ni x bley duk diam n xbley rase bosan

pantang bosan je mengayau

ape lagi.

ari ahad aritu dlm pukul 3 mcm tu i kua g nilai

g nilai 3 jap

tp paneh bangat

then i g lak umah yen

huhu

rindu plak ngn minah ni

last jmp mase kenduri kawan my sis aritu

so almost a month la jgk xjmp die

so ni je pic dlm nset i ngn die

i rase i da x camwhore sgt la

haha..bley caye ke statement tu

poyo jek

haha

ni la cik dayen kesygn sy

mcm2 mna pon die slh sorg yg bley jd BFF sy

hehe :)

pimple on my forehead da x terkawal.. i pon da malas nk guna produk2 cantik bg ilang pimple ni

sungguh serious malas

ape nk jadi daa

:(

i kua sat je ngn minah ni
g amek die pon da ptg
so singgah karok jap
tu pon plan spontan je
pas karok jenjln kt tesco putra nilai
pastu g mkn kt kedai fav die
n then anta die balek
skejap je
x puas lak
huuhuu xpe la kot
nnt jmp lg kn
jmp slu kang muak lak si yen ni ngn i
hehe
:p

die nk usha nset
n dgr cite nk angkat baru
wowww terangkat la psni pkai nset bru ye nokss
hehe

boley camwhore n save picca byk2..
trbahek la

Monotonous

Sound ~ Monotonous.
Day ~ Bored

LIFE~ unexplained!

Today is SUNDAY bukan normal working day tapi semalam SATURDAY normal working day ok..da ibarat kje 1 mggu 7 hari da ni...menyampah..tp x kje pon bosan pulak..ni duk umah xtau nk buat ape pon..bosan giler..nk update cerita pon xd ape yg best utk diceritakan...ermm..pg td...g jog kt Tasik Chempaka.. jog 1 round je..pastu men badminton jap..then ade angin2 kuat sket..pastu ade la budak skola bwk bola jaring..ajak budak tu main sambil pinjam bola dorg..hehe..penat gle keja bola weh...serious..pastu g FASA 1 dekat pasar tu..melantak pulak..sia2 penat pg jog td..haha.. layan je..sbb lapa sgt..smlm xmkn..t'tdo...pas balek keje je da penat..time kje pon duk surau tu ..terlelap2...xtau ape yg memenatkn...tp kje ape je yg x penat..klu duk depan PC je pon penat gaban..haha... da la..xtau nk cita ape ni...sgt bosan skg..nk balek umah n9 pon nnt bosan jgk..baek la memerap je dlm bilik ni ha..on9..pastu tido..pastu bgn..pastu...buat je la ape2 yg ptt kt uma ni.....sgt bosan wehhh!

SS?

Swimming Plus Sauna~
Heavenly at heaven :)


Reduce Stress of Job load at work!

I bought this from THE BODY SHOP at Alamanda Putrajaya.. Best bau die..sedap n rase mcm nak makan..Berry2 nyummy!..Colourless pon.. pakai xnampak ape2 cume nmpk moist plus bau shedap banget! seriousss!

Banyak

Banyak benda nak cerita tapi x tercerita..]

Mungkin sbb terlalu personal untuk diceritakan

atau pon xda idea nak cerita ape

BOSAN GILER KNE KEJE AHAD NI!

menyampah!!!

then KAIZEN lg..so another busyness week upcoming! welcome KAIZEN!

i wish i get this..but dunno when.. aahahaa

back side! cun dok?

Getting through Me

I don't know maself! that's it..


I blame maself for it!


I hate maself because of this!


I HATE ME!

I AM NOT ME ANYMORE!

MODAPTS AND Motion Ergonomic Training Class

DENGAN CLASSMATE TRAINING WITH TRAINER

konon kusyuk dengar Mr Ganesan bg explanation

Mase test! phewww 1 mende yg i xsuke klu attend training..kene jwb test.. malas oi oi

MODAPTS?
what is MODAPTS?

= MODular Arrangement Predetermine Time Standard

Klu xd watch n tools2 tuk kire mengira

bley la kire dgn menggunakn anggota tbh badan

n d unit is MOD

Motion Ergonomic lak adalah

mende2 yg berkaitan dgnnya la

nk explain pon da x reti ni

x hengat suda

tp tu la pasal ergonomic sket

best jgk blaja pasal mende ni

tp nk apply cam ssh sket

sbb x pandai sgt

TEst result?

jeng3..

i igtkn fail

tp seb bek pass jgk

haahaa

passing mark 80 kot

truk betul

exam kt U pon xd la passing mark 80

gilerr ah

klu dpt 80 tu da kire A la kn

so i dpt up sket dr 80 la

hehe

seb bek x fail je nokss

klu x maluww i!

da la report training cc merata ke boss n org jepon bagai...

perlu keerrr?

OMG!

OMG

CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

WEEKEND AT BANGI!

PHEWWW!

HAAHAA

DA LAME X B'WEEKEND DI BANGI

KLU X TU

PANTANG CUTI SKET

BALEK N9 AJE,,

BOHSAN O DUK SINI..

KLU BUKAN SBB SMLM KEJE N MLM TD DA PROJEK BEST SKET

CONFIRM SABTU LEPAS KEJE TU DAH CHOW BALEK N9 DA

i'M dAMn bORED HERE!  SERiousLY..

Oppss Td pg i bgn awl..
then g Tasik Chempaka

Jogging la kunun..
pastu ade event senamrobik
then i pon join skali..

pastu kt blakang i tu mcm ade uncle umo early 40 kot
then buat x tau je lahkn

pas senamrobik tu
actually i x tggu senam tu smp habeh pon
da mcm bosan2 sket i g jogging la plak

then abeh jogging tu jmp la balek uncle tu
die da nak blah kot
then die tggu i dekat jambatan tu
and tanya a bit about my self

yang x bley blah nye
die bg phone no die
coz die tny kot2 i tgh carik kje
haha
i pon layan je la amik no pon die
u rase die bley caye x?
agak3 contact die dpt x i blah dr SONY?
muahaha

MOTIP?
klu la i dpt kje len kan
syiokkk wooo
serious syokkkk!!!

tp uncle ni musykil sket la
die tegur i maybe sbb
ermm
my appearance td kot
n he did also speaking with me
haha tu i xtau ah ape motip die kn..

mY bLOG ain't yours :)

Naughty

Being Naughty again tonight...

Saturday Normal WOrking Day mmg sgt x syok ok :(

BOSAN giler kene keje kot ari sabtu..

Rasa Berdosa

Sebab cakap kasar dengan mak semalam

Arini p kje tp lupe nk call mak btau da smpai

Ptg td Mak call n cakap Alhamdulillah selamat dah sampai

N siap pesan drive elok2

Before mak letak tpon..

Mak akan cakap n doa untuk keselamatan anaknya

"Ya ALLAH, Selamatkan lah anakku"

I'm so touched!

semalam cam marah n hangin sket

sbb my mom nk rushing balek n9

n i plak nk g men badminton

my mom nk g masjid

pasal tu

mende baek pon i nk marah..

ntah la

xtau nk ckp ape kt diri sendiri

makin melampau2 lak 

*marah kt diri sendiri*

smlm i cakap kt mak

nape plak mak ikut g bangi smlm

baek mak duk umah n siap2 brg nk bwk g masjid

ayat i sgt jahat

padahal mak nak teman adik jemput i je

*nape la i ni*

xpaham betul ngn diri sendiri

rase nak nangis plak

Mak..mntk ampun n maaf ye..

i won't repeat it!

promise to u!

Risau!!!

I da lame x nampak die..
Xtau die hilang mane
Mcm x muncul2 da

I Risau
tp i xtau la i nk risau sbb ape
mgkn sbb i da x nampak die kot
(padahal i mmg x pnh nmpk die)

Die da x online,
Jarang? bukan jarang da..
tp x nampak langsung
die kenape eyh?
die ade problem ke?
or die ade kejutan?

I jadi stalker hebat lg
he's got someone new
ermm and i already melepasss

org Jambu xkan la xd gf kn?
mustahil sungguh


Ok la
esok nk bwk Mr Ollen g ospital
erkk ptt June schedulenye
tp maybe lately i terlalu byk gune Mr Ollen smp da 10k lbh da
so terpakse la hantar n mlayang la fulus mulus i
hehe
sian kt Mr Ollen..byk calar balarnye
dpt lak awek cam i ni yg x reti jage die
kesian betul
ok tlg kesiankn Mr Ollen i eh


MY mOm cakap..
buat ape carik yg berharta sgt
duit bley carik
rezeki tu dtg dr Allah
klu tggu sume tu
sampai bila
n my MOM nasihat
Jangan sakitkan hati orang


n i said dlm hati...
i x carik yg berharta pon
Alhamdullilah la klu sekufu
hehe :P


tp i bukan malaikat
n i xtau klu i penah sakitkn hati org
just that what i know
org yg sakitkn hati i
mgkn jgk slh i
tp i xtau mane silapnye...

Ku Ingin Kamu--Lirik Lagu :)

Dari semua yang aku jalani bersamamu
Ku ingin engkau jadi milikku
Ku ingin kau disampingku
Tanpa dirimu
Ku hanya manusia tanpa cinta
Dan hadirmu yang bisa membawa syurga dalam hatiku

(*)
Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Aku akan mencintaimu
Menjagamu selama hidupku
Dan aku kan berjanji
Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
Ku akan setia disini menemani..

Sentuhanmu bagaikan tangan sang dewi cinta
Yang berhiaskan bunga asmara
Dan membuatku tak kuasa
Ku ingin engkau menjadi milikku
Aku akan mencintaimu
Menjagamu selama hidupku
Dan aku kan berjanji
Hanya kaulah yang kusayangi
Ku akan setia disini menemani

Di setiap arung gerakmu
Tersimpan di hati kecilku
Bahawa dirimu terindah untukku

(Ulang *)

(Ulang) (5x)
Selama ku masih bisa bertahan
Selama ku masih bisa bernafas
Selama Tuhan masih mengizinkan
ku ingin selalu menjagamu…

I'm a bad girl

SAYA BUDAK JAHAT!

oh!

Sungguh x tipu!

~REPENTANCE~

I'm starting to hate my job now~

farewell party

Mr. Rahiman on the scene :)

Mr. Lai on the scene

:)

why my title be like that?

Oh ho

bukan nak ckp skg i baru nak hating my job

but dulu pon i x suka sgt my job

but but but! not butt uh

i layan je sbb susah nak dpt keje

i'm d type of yg nak dpt interview pon susah

so whatever yang i got

i mst appreciate it even though i x suka sangat

ok la to be honest

i nak say tqvm to my prev boss

Mr. Rahiman Ishak coz selected me and finally SONY EMCS hiring me

because of him la i rase i dapat my current job

however sad to say.

i just know him in a six month

so skrg my boss is Mr. Lai CHee Keong,

previously Production TV punye boss

so skg servis b'tukar tangan,

makanya Mr. Rahiman transfer ke sane and Mr. Lai

ambil alih AMC( Auto Mount Centre)  Material Control

Mr. Lai pon jage Spare Part Room.

I xtau nak ckp ape

lepas nii da xbuley nak halfday sesuka hati tanpa notis or plan awl

nk cuti pon agak susah

and trend shift pon agak leceh

phewww!
pEnaT!!!

i sebenarnye xda lah x suka sgt dgn my job 

tp i x suka mingle ngn org2 yg ntah hape2 kt kilang tu

esspecially mereka yg blagak bagus n ego sgt

menyampah ok

if u da salah just say sorry

it meant a lot

just say it

it doesn't hurt other's feeling kott

huh!

Suda Bosan Lalala

today's topic was so monotonous to say.
haha..monotone.. :(
busan..


mendapat yang sukar didapati adalah sukar untuk dilepaskan pergi...
mungkinkah.....

Adik ME :P

i do promise to someone nak upload this picca.

Handsome x?

suka tgk mata ye....

:P

Enough2..

Don't misunderstood..

I don't really know him..

Suka usha die bile die wat keje..

*xkesah nk upload kt cni sbb bukannye die tau my blog pon n confirm x kantoi punya la*
confident je ayt :P

Nuts is kacang..whateva!

My estrogen rush invigorating *lied* as I didn’t work out for extremely in an hour so that I will work with passion and be patience with all the challenges. People here are all about thinking that their have a lot of workloads to do, seem that no one care about your role and responsible. People here are annoying, and its do irritates me to the max.
However I can’t do anything, I just need to face it and accept it even I don’t really like to.
I’ve no choice. I need to pay for Mr. Ollen as I bought it last year. Moreover I have to repay my debt and future debt to my lovely parents. Oh I miss them. Sincerely to say that I’d just met them. I don’t really know why I’d become so sensitive lately, maybe because I’m suffering from a syndrome known as Pre Menstrual Syndrome. By the way, it’s time for me to do my work but I don’t have a gut to do it. I need to stabilize my mood so that I’d become cheerful and do my work chores without moodiness. I’ve been working here since 4th October 2010. I’ll know one fine day I’ll be transferred to section which is I don’t really want to. Then, what to do? I need to face it by my own. It’s skeptical, really skeptical, so just don’t let your mind tired to think it off.

I’m thinking of better offer right now. I want something better and it’ll tranquil my mind and my soul. I don’t want to be here. Thanks Allah for giving me a chance to work here, I don’t know who is pressurized myself here. Maybe I’m a spoil brat that they shouldn’t think of hiring me. I don’t really know if it is a fault but I do believe that there’s something that we don’t know (supposed to be good impact or effect) and I don’t know it yet. Not yet been revealed or maybe Allah want me to think it deeper and find by my own self. I’m searching myself, the truth of being me and the utterly of why being me.

If I’m too good and near to Allah, maybe I can answer that entire question that I keep on thinking, even now I’m still thinking it off. I don’t know to whom I should share all these rubbishy and I know it’s quite boring. Besides, my creator and you the only want can listen to me without expression, but I don’t really care on that.
The only want can hear me is only you, Mr. B, I’m sad and so sad, I can’t express my inner intuition. I want to cry even I know it would not help my problem and settle down it but it is a way to cure myself from being too stress and pushy towards my conflict of emotion.

You can throw out all those words to me, I’m picky, I’m choosy, I’m fussy, I’m fastidious, I’m pernickety, I’m whatever! But the truth is I’m scared to be one of it. I securely understand that I’m nobody to choose my own style. I’m the one who pleased to face everything that Allah had chosen the best for me. I don’t know what wrong with me right now. Mental disorder? For Godsake!stay away from it. I don’t want any sickness regards brain or whatever. I’m hoping I will in a pink of health. (These words like I’m
Doing English essay on secondary school). There’s no one can understand me well. I knew it. I can’t feel the euphoria of the surroundings. Is there any happiness from deep inside my heart? I’m bored with situation like this. I;m stuck within empathy and compassion. Less energizing, so that i'd become less concious with real fact of life now.

*demotivated mode*

picca tuk cik Dea

Sy da berjanji nk bg Picca2 neh kt Cik Dea 

sorry sbb lmbt nk bg...

:)

kakak n cik Dea yg vogue

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cik Dea yg Cun lg meletup gitu

cik Dea ngn I yg somot!

All this pics was captured on wedding day cik Dea's bro.

it's been a month lebey kot

janji nk bg,,tp skg bru bley nk bg..

FYI, i g Shalam then kakak amek i kt sane so i lepak jap umah kakak kt sg buloh

then lps lepak2 kat umah kakak kt sg. buloh i pon g Gombak,

i da la x reti jln kan so nasib baek parents kakak join ikut kitorg skali

so xd la sesatnye

btw kakak jemput i tp i yg drive smpai umah die

kakak ni cam takut2 sket nk drive ble bwk org

len plak prangainye ngn CIK DEA kte ni

die ni klu bwk kete mmg la mcm nk drift gayanye..

pas gi uma Cik Dea i n kakak pon balek la balek rumah kakak kt sg buloh tu..

pastu kitorg gi Karok kt mall area sinun

agak best jugak la tmpt karok tu

antara tmpt yg agak best and boley layan.

then smpai Shalam da agak malam la jugak

pastu kitorg g mkn kt Shalam 

n i angkut kakak bawak balek Bangi

and pagi2 tu kitorg ronda Alamanda plak

then niat nk karok tp x jadi sbb mahal ya amat..

pastu kitorg g jalan shalam balek

then karok kt area shalam

1 lagu sehinggit

pilih 20 lgu

so sorg rm10 la kot

best jgk la 

layannnnn

tp gmbr jln2 ngn kakak xd 

sbb kakak ni

die bukan jenis camwhore mcm i

i pon cam mls2 nk b'gmbr bagai

jd xd la gmbr kitorg mase b'jln2 aritu

wpon cite ni da lame n da basi

n mcm xperlu nk update pon

tp ade i kesah?

blog i knnnn :P

tp mmg motif utama post ni nk upload gmbar yg Cik Dea nak sgt tu

makanya sy suda menepati janjiku wpon terlambat sedikit suddaa :)