Sunday, January 20, 2013

Revive~~~


I'm so tired of being here,
suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me


 

Monday, January 14, 2013

Bertaut Di Jabal Rahmah

Dear B,

Entry ni bukan berkisarkan cerita Adam & Hawa eh..
People out there sibuk duk cerita pasal cerita ni
Memang macam best pon
but then sebab nama heroin dalam cerita ni Ain
terus I cam nak tak nak jer tengok betul-betul..
lompat2 episode..tak excited sangat
Cerita memang best sangat kot kan, terawang2 je tengoknye.
Dulu I selalu think of, yang cerita novel2 ni memang wujud dalam novel je.
But then I da tau da, cerita yang ala2 macam novel ni
realitynya pon happen in our life out there.
Mungkin sama sedikit, mungkin tak sama langsung or mungkin memang sama.
Ok dah, banyak sangat mungkin ni.
Stop the mungkin NOW!



Actually why the title is like that? uh?
B, you want to know it why?
It is just because I got a message from my BFF today.

She wrote in this:

"Ibu mimpi kta g umrah 2 org. Kt jbl rhmh ko jumpe jdoh ko dlu, ak kmudian. Huhu"

and u know my reaction after read this message? I cried kot..tibe2 touching, sebab I bace mase pukul 5 pagi camtu, hiba plak ai...padahal my BFF ni da anto lame da..I lambat nau bacenye..I nanges bukan sebab the meaning or maksud mesej tu, I cried sebab I rindu nak pergi sana. Serious rindu, a place which is unique, indescribably peaceful mind and soul there. The tranquility yang you tak kan dapat kat sini or tempat lain. Serious nak pergi lagi. Ya Allah, mudah2an ada peluang dan ruang untuk kembali ke rumahMu lagi. Amin :)

tapi kan Dear beb,
my instinct said that you'll marry 1st..jangan risau ok, I'll be your pengapit. Then masa you akad nikah tu forsure I nanges... touching.....uwaaaa :'(




Actually the story behind is, I miss that place..we called it Mount of Mercy, okay nak dijadikan cerita, I experience something yang sangat best there. Masa OTW nak pergi Jabal Rahmah tu, Mutawwif tu dah cerita macam2 kat dalam bas. He said about many people yang datang kat Jabal Rahmah tu, minta doa pasal jodoh lah. sebab historynya kan macam ni lebih kurang, tempat bertemunya Adam dan Hawa setelah beratus tahun terpisah. Setelah both of them bertaubat dan memohon keampunan dari Allah, disebabkan Hawa pujuk Adam untuk makan buah Khuldi yang dilarang oleh Allah S.W.T. Start dari situlah, wujudnya kita ni kan. Okay, jangan lupa asal usul anda eh..Okay nak cerita pasal history, I'm not so arif about it. Based on ape yang Mutawwif tu cakap, lah kan, tak ade hadith soheh yang menyatakan makbul doa berkaitan jodoh, minta anak ke ape-ape ke kat situ, tapi Mutawwif tu cakap, tak salah nak berdoa, dekat mana2 pon boleh berdoa kan. Mudah2an berdoa dekat situ, dimaqbulkan Allah. InsyaAllah :)



Masa nak mendaki bukit tu, we chose the hard path la kan, tak kan nak naek tangga siap je, tak mencabar pulak kami kan kuat lagi, Alhamdulillah, diberi nikmat kesihatan oleh Allah masa tu, in fact my dad pon ikut naek path yang berbatu-batu dan berliku tu.Tak tinggi sangat pon bukitnye tapi penat la jugak bila da sampai atas. Tercungap2 hoih~ Cepat peluh and cepat kering dekat sana, sebab cuaca kat sana kan panas kering.

Ni adik beserta Mutawwif yang sibuk mengagihkan mineral water utk Jemaah Umrah 
Mutawwif Bas kami ni orang kelahiran Indonesia, cakap Indon ofcoz la pekat sangat, tapi still boleh paham,
Suara dia sedap and selalu nasyid and baca doa berlagu masa kat dalam bas. Merdu okay suara dia. Ayah siap rakam lagi masa dia baca doa ke selawat ke. Amik lagu katanye.

version Black N White
See i bawak air 2 before naik atas, sebabnye, memang bawak air selalu, kat sana kan panas kering, dan kebetulan waktu kami pergi sana tu, musim panas pulak. Orang kate, kalau pergi musim sejuk, best lagi. tak la panas sangat. tapi takpe pon Alhamdulillah panas tu tak menghalang aktiviti kami kat sana. Sampai-sampai je dekat kaki bukit Rahmah ni, haruslah bergambar dulu dengan HUNTA2..banyak unta kat sane, bayaran pon murah je boleh tahan dalam 5 ke 10 Riyal. tapi I, My lil bro n Ayah tak naek pon. Amek gmbo je suda.
Menarik okay orang Arab hias unta2 tu. kalau dekat Melaka macam naek Beca la, siap ada bunga bagai kan. Ni namanya Unta berhias (memandai I je taruk nama ni).

Ni la yang I cakap Unta Berhias Ni.
Cantik sangat tapi bau MasyaAllah. :)

Okay sambung cerita lagi, OTW naek atas bukit tu, semasa mendaki la kan, I nampak banyak sangat gambar orang (size passport) merata-rata dekat everywhere, celah-celah batu semua. Then I fikir, mesti orang yang datang sini, minta dipertemukan jodoh and dorang siap bawak gambar lagi pastu memang tinggalkan kat sane.I je fikir macam ni, tapi tak tahulah betul ke tak kan. Serious banyak k gambar bertaburan dekat situ. I wonder why they should bring all those picture there. Hehe.. Curiosity terlebih plak ai...

Continue, sampai atas je ade ramai sangat orang, dekat puncak bukit tu ada satu tiang tegak warna putih dan ada hitam sikit dekat bawah nye. Dekat situ ramai orang berdoa, sambil menghadap kiblat, ada yang solat sunat. Ada yang cium tiang tu, ada yang tulis nama, and tulis macam2 la dekat tiang tu, ada yang letak kepala dekat dengan dinding tiang tu, ada jugak yang tawaf dekat situ. Tapi serious, I have no comments towards their actions, and you just know that, orang Islam seluruh dunia ni kan ikut 4 mazhab, so masing-masing ada pegangan dan ikutan menurut mazhab masing2 lah kan. so jangan pandang pelik mereka k. Kita pon tak tahu amalan kita ni betul dan diterima Allah ke tak.
Just don't judge people, u just don't know them well kan. Hanya Allah sahaja berhak menghukum hambaNya.

Dekat atas tu ramai yang akan meminta gambar kita diambil dengan kamera mereka, and then dorang charge dlm 10 ke 20 Riyal kalau tak silap. Tapi kalau tak nak tu, tolak dengan cara baek ye.
Dekat atas macam-macam mereka ni jual, ada tasbih, batu-batu, cincin, hiasan barang kemas tiruan, henna, and too much to write in here kot i rase.

Okla B,
Layan gmbau je kat bawah ni, actually i nak tulis and share benda banyak lagi, tapi dah ngantuk2 ni, so I nak off baby lappy ni and tido je lah. Esok keje la :(...
Kalau rajin i edit balek and add up some other story k.
Till meet again dear B,
Hug and Kisses from Me :)


gambar berlakon jap.
dengan Ayah masa OTW mendaki bukit
Ayah dengan session menshopping, tapi kami tak beli apa2 masa dekat atas tengok2 je

Ramai fakir yang minta sedekah dekat sana. See dorang baring dekat tengah2 laluan jalan

Pemandangan dari Jabal Rahmah 

Antara barang-barang yang dijual dekat atas Bukit Rahmah

Camwhore session after doa :)

Adik with nice panorama belah blakang tu

Again Adik! 

Me and the moments at Mount of Mercy

p/s : B, again I'm not a good girl, but i changed, i want to be a better girl. Pls pray for me, and O Allah, please guide me to Jannah :)



Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Note!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN :
sumber dari blog BFF ku sayang2..


Dear B,
Alhamdulillah, I got one of my wishlist this year :)
My Notetwo name is
ANoteTI
hehe
somel tak name tu?
weeeee :P

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Wedding Situ Sane Sini

Az Nikah Day, pic bsame BFF :)

Az Wedding Day at Kg. Bingtongan

Doe Wedding Day at Seremban~

lambat gils letak pic Az ni, ape2 pon..
Tahniah k korang
Semoga Bahagia hingga ke akhir hayat
nak usha pic camwhore kami?
sila lawati blog site Puan Noor Diana yee

tak pon, bley usha link ni



ni utk dia hey! utk dia hey! utk diaaaa!
:)

P/s: I'm not a perfect person  but yet i want to be a better person.
Pls pray for me B :)

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Apple Wishes~

Dear B,

I wish for an iphone
weee
sebab suke Apple sangat kannn
but then i tak beli pon iphone lg...
berzaman da..


Then today, when I dah log in single, I saw 
this!
awesome
tapi haram tak paham ape die tulis kat apple tu..
cantik kan :P
done with apple.

so my 1st wishlist for 2013 is
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
tadaaaaa


Galaxy Note 2 instead of Apple Iphone

Xkesah la semakkkphone ape pon
janji ade semakkphone satu kan..
orang len sume da pakai canggih2 da..
I je ketingalan berzaman-zaman oi...
Hope dapat soonest :P
bley leka2 sket kan...ngadap phone...
and tak sedih2 da..
:)



Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 WITH 4+1 A's

Dear B,

It's almost the end of the year 2012.
I would like to summarize my 2012 in short, but then...
It's okay, i don't think so that I'll share all of it.
Early 2012 is quite interesting for me.
A lot of things happen but then no sparkle impact in my life.
Mid of the year is more interesting, exciting and non expected.
I love mid of the year, there are so many things happen, that change my life a bit.
The significant of memories will be remain in my mind.

Let's back to the topic that would like to share
As you knows, My late luvly mom name is Azizah right.
My mom's name start with A.
so 2011,last year ALLAH takes her from us,
but then in 2012, ALLAH gives us another 4 A's that replace our mom,


Here they are!
Allah grant happiness for my sis and family with new born babies
to replace our deepest sadness last year.
2012 become cheerful and brighten our day with them all.
Allah send us another 4 A's to replace mom.
Thanks Allah for this happiness.
Coincidentally their name starts with A, except for Aleesya, she has Nur, but then we still call her Aleesya instead of Nur Aleesya.


Ateh Noora's tembam baby
 Aleesya Damia
~29th June 2012~


The twin of Alang Dila~Si kembar yang comel ~

Aufa Naurah (left)

Auni Nusrah (right)

~3rd October 2012~




last but not least
latest baby of Angah Aju

Annur Insyirah
~21 December 2012~



Allah did lend me an A also, 
but then it's just for a while, 
a happiness in short term but i do appreciate it 
because I learn to love someone and 
I experience an unique feeling at the end of this year,
 seriously I never felt this feeling before and wonder why i have to feel it, 
they say, at least u know how it felt to be love and in love,
 to be hurt and hurting the most..
Thanks again Allah, 
You made me realize that the only A that can be lasting forever, 
the only A that can't dump me, 
can be LOVE and in love forever is only you ALLAH



I'm hoping that my relationship with  A will last forever but then Allah knows better than anyone else right? 
Allah knows better than me, so just don't sigh and regret everything happen to me this year.
Things happen lately made me realize to "tuqarribbu Ilallah"
Wanna be more positive starting today, tomorrow and forever lahhhh 
May 2013 bring more happiness, joy, and prosperous for us
InsyaALLAH.

Ya ALLAH
Give me a

TOUGH N STRONG 
HEART!

can I?

A's yang ALLAH kurniakan hanyalah pinjaman,
Mak dah pun pergi
Anak2 buah jadi pengganti
tapi harus ingat,
 suatu masa nanti kita pasti akan pergi 
kepada yang hakiki,
semua yang ada didunia ni milik ALLAH yang abadi.
Tak ada yang kekal
HAVE FAITH IN ALLAH.

one of my wishlist next year is, I want to be a good girl a better muslimah
ewaaah~ hehe :)
Amin
B, pls doa for me k :)
till meet again B
*hug n kisses*



Thursday, December 27, 2012

271112 and 271212

Can you see it clearly B?
It's been a month since A said he wanted to be my friend 
Then he wrote "something" on my November 2012 calendar
after he said that "hurt the most" statement
it is easy to say it right, but then to make it real it quite hard to do so.

I will keep the notes save with me..
Save in my memory!
27.11.12,
and not in a month he's no longer mine.
I try to persuade my heart
cajole my heart with any other things
but yet it still hurt,
why?

I don't want to be sad,
keep on pretending,
I just don't want that..

If only A knows that 
I love him more than he do..
Forever in love with him and just only him
eventho He's not loving me anymore
As I always said, Love him MORE!
and today 271212,
~DAY 30~
without daily notes that usually pass to him..
I just can only see him and talk without any true heart feeling expression.
I need to control myself from being overboard.
Know the limit of being friend!
and I think that he also want to get rid of me.
It is true i think, I can feel it..I just don't know,
seem that he also want to try it
Help me to be strong Ya Allah,
It's hurt when u can't even say your true feeling towards your loved one.
The pain that can't be described in a word.

Thanks Allah coz i can still smile eventho my heart was totally broken.
merely Thanks Allah, coz I can still smile in front of him.
Thanks Buddies (Diana, Syuhada, Shafrina and Izyana)
U are there when I always need you.
Patiently listen and hear my noise of tears, my pain of unhappy ending love story.
Thanks for being there.
Appreciated it so much.
:"(



Repeatedly read his note, make me smile for a while.
IMGOINGMAD~
when this madness will stop from being seriously messed

P/s: B, actually i want to write more, but then i felt as u r no longer can listen to my heart destruction problem, so i'll handle it by myself. Hopefully it can cure soonest possible.


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page



2.30am! almost three!
waaaa
nape x ley lelap nieh :'(

#needashouldertocryon#
:'(

Sunday, December 23, 2012

8 Hari and Heart Destruction Day today~

My BFF say that I have 8 days for ...........



My heart was taken by you
and broken by you~


I wish I had a heart that was never broken I wish I had words that were never spoken. I wish I could dream like I've never awaken. I wish I could live in a world where no one's faking.'
including myself, no faking!





















Doa dan harapan tak akan pernah putus~

May Allah show me the way...




Sedey2, then baca lg message dlm message box!
I'MGOINGCRAZY!





Saturday, December 22, 2012

Getting Near!

I Risau!
But I Shudn't have to worry right.
I don't know what I supposed to do B.
Keep on thinking about A again.
:(

Last note from him yesterday.
I'm starting to miss him so much already.
and I just don't want to know about tomorrow
Can I B?
B...I'm deeply hurt..if only u know it...
A..IMYSM n ILYSM..I'm scared of can't express that words again to u..


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Baby Boo Blog !

Dear B,

 

I'm google'ing something.

Guess what it is?

 

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
― Dr. Seuss

 

"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
― Mother Teresa

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boleh usha dekat link ni:

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/smile

 

 

I've decided!

I'M GOING TO SMILE :)
yeay~~~~~~

 

NO more sad episode.

 

Psssstt:

B, wait for my new entry with the happy mode k!

I'm hoping it will be happy episode.

Amin :)

 

BR,

Siti

 

 

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Kau Yang Terindah OST-Alyah



    Ku Disini Mengalunkan Rindu Yang Resah

Aku Disini Memuja Bayangmu

setiap Detik Degup Nadiku Hanya Untukmu

Cinta Membara Jiwa Gelora



Kau Yang Terindah Didalam Hidupku

Hanya Cintamu Mekar Selamanya

Tak Inginku Lagi Mencintai Yang Lain

Kau Telah Mengikatku Selamanya



Ku Disini Menantikan Janji Yang Hilang

Aku Disini Menghitung Harapan

Setiap Detik Tiap Nafasku Ada Cintamu

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang



Kau Yang Terindah Didalam Hidupku

Hanya Cintamu Mekar Selamanya

Tak Inginku Lagi Mencintai Yang Lain

Kau Telah Mengikatku Selamanya



Ku Disini Menantikan Janji Yang Hilang

Aku Disini Menghitung Harapan

Setiap Detik Tiap Nafasku Ada Cintamu

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang



Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Dinner and The Story Behind~

THE GRACE

 THE JOHN AND GRACE
THE SU, THE SITI NOR, THE JOHN and THE GRACE

SITI NOR with me :)

JUST ME

JUST ME AGAIN

AND AGAIN ME


ME more

ok me me

me

me

me yg sememangnye serabut this time

ni bukan belakon~

R n R having lunch but I'm not

ada lg?I text A!


me n them

me from the far

the A front of me

the don't what to say


final pic~



all of those captured pictures were taken when we had an Annual Dinner at Johor


Dear B,

There's something to share here,
One week ago,Eh? no..not! Two weeks ago la..
 Samsung had organised an event.
We had our annual Dinner at Johor
and before that we went to Legoland!
Seriously Legoland was not awesome at all.
Quite bored there plus the queue was annoyed too.
There's so many people there, and I ended up only watching 4D movies jer...
Whattaday!~
but I think much better than Ct Nor la, coz she spent the day with slept at the Surau.
Not worth it right?

I hoped and wished that I spent my full day at Legoland with A, but then it won't happen.
I try to avoid myself from A. Go away from A. The things that I supposed to do. Oops, I should and I need to do it.

Stray away from him is the best thing to do,
in fact we have try so many times to forget each other,
but it doesn't work at all.!
A lot of ways which is failed finally.
In fact not in a single day I can forget A, how come it can become so easy as what people out there said.
It's easy to say but when come to actual, to do it, it becomes so hard and getting tougher day by day.
Seriously I don't know what happen to me, this is just not me.
No wonder I never felt this way before.
Allah knows that I can't face all this.

We met at the pool and I'm so happy that A yelled and said that
A loves me
A said " I love U SITI"
it is just overwhelming me from my uncomfort zone.
He L:O:V:E:S Me
If A knows that I loves him more than he do,
More that he knows,
A would not let things happen like this.
To end up with separation is just not cool at all.
A asked to take pics, but yet I didn't reply him.
A text me because we didn't see each other that night.
Our table is quite far from each other.

Dear A,
You know what?
All those pictures above supposed to have u besides me.
But then even a single piece? There's no YOU!
It is so pathetic!
But then, this is your decision, you let the things happen.
I'll respect it!
A,
Please don't play with my heart and true feelings towards you.
You are the one that I can only think now.
I never felt this way before, everything that I do,
Reminds me of you.
I don't know how i should react in front of you with you new status soon
Heart Destruction Day for me :'(
imy!