Neglected

Assalammualaikum..

Dear B,

         I've neglected you since,......... I'm not sure when, but then I felt that I've been tired for all the things that happen lately. Since I'd falling in love with A, I just forget about you B, but then, I have to love B more than A right? because you are my Baby Boo Blog that I loved the most. The B that i can share all my thoughts, my blabbering, my happiness, my sadness, my nagging and my everything. It is just that i can't no more share my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness and my sadness to A anymore. I just can't share with A. Alphabetically A comes 1st before B right but then I have to love my B before I can love my A. Oops A is no longer mine. How come my A?. I supposed to write the A. A is not mine anymore, It is damn hard to say so, that A is no longer mine. I'd suffered enough for this drama. Is it a drama? I'm not sure, I just don't know what i felt now, things getting worsen. I just don't know how to react, yet still hoping for the things which is finally won't be happened. The difficulties seem getting harder to understand. Physically look like okay but actually it is not like what people expect from me.

B, I think I can't write anything and can't tell anything to you. There's anonymous which is stalking and keep on reading what i write in here. I just want to share with you Dear B, I just don't know to whom I should share to. I've friends, but I can't give them all the pressure, I just can share but yet I just feel it on my own. I don't want to be sad anymore. I just want to be happy. Can i borrow Mr Happy from Dealove? I would love to hug Mr. Happy as he is huggable ted that I've ever known. I miss my momma! I miss her, and feel like to hug her now. I want to cure from this disease so called love, She will comfort me whenever i fall and demotivated like this. I miss my mom~ I miss her so much, yet I don't know to whom I should share to, because B has no more security or privacy in telling everything. Mom, if you are here then, I would tell my tears cause, my sadness and madness to you, I would share my joy with you, I would kiss you and hug you mom, it will comfort me from my uneasiness feelings, mommmmmm~ i miss you so much, do you hear me? I'm in pain :'( ..I want to cry in front of you mom...I love you so much. There's no one who will love and care about me like you did. I can't control this feeling on my own.

It's hurt to lose someone that you love the most, there's no pain worsen than that feelings. I lose mom, I lose A, I also need to lose you B, since you are no more secure to tell what i felt. I have to do it. Yes! I need to do it! Let them go with Redha. Losing someone that you care and you love is something that devastating and terribly hurt. The pain is mysterious feelings. I just don't want to feel this weird feeling again. Please Allah, let me cure and let me free from this dull and unhappy condition after all  I wish for happily ever after love story like people out there feels it. I'm an ordinary person also known as normal girl who has feelings and can express her feeling too. Recently enjoyable moments seem that ineffective towards to get me into euphoria feelings. It's not reliable right? and it was not cool too. The cold of the heart is what I felt now, It's just a mess, and yet I know A was not serious at the first place. A is just want to play around. A is not really love me. I just know that, A is just pity on me.A just don't want me. A is cruel, A made me confident of himself and after that A left me just like that. A broke his promises, to me in fact his promises in front of my mom too. So i better get rid of him and get rid of being fooled once again. Can I say that? Can I bear in my mind of that statement? Can I? so that I can forget about him....

WHAT'S HURT THE MOST IS? BEING LIED! BEING LIED FROM SOMEONE YOU TRUST AND YOU LOVE THE MOST. THAT WAS "AWESOME"!!! 

B, Can you lend your shoulder, for me to cry on?
Can you do it baby boo blog? 
I'm sure you will if you have shoulders right?
but I know, u don't have one.

Please be realistic Siti!
You are not in fantasy~
This is not a SHREK's LOVE STORY with FIONA,
can live happily ever after, after they gone through all the challenges.
THIS IS NOT A FAIRY TALES!
Please WAKE UP from this dream~
Please SITI help yourself, you need to be strong..
No one can help you instead  of yourself~
JUST BE REALISTIC EVENTHO IT'S HURT!
keep up the faking smile :)
chayok3!!!
No more cries :'(
pleaseeeee!!!

FAR AWAY from you, IS IT WORKS? I KNOW U, CAN BUT I CAN'T!!!

If the distance will faded our love.... I just don't want it to be fade away...

FAR FAR AWAY~~