Thursday, April 28, 2011

Adik ME :P

i do promise to someone nak upload this picca.
Handsome x?
suka tgk mata ye....

Don't misunderstood..
I don't really know him..
Suka usha die bile die wat keje..

*xkesah nk upload kt cni sbb bukannye die tau my blog pon n confirm x kantoi punya la*
confident je ayt :P

Monday, April 25, 2011

Nuts is kacang..whateva!

My estrogen rush invigorating *lied* as I didn’t work out for extremely in an hour so that I will work with passion and be patience with all the challenges. People here are all about thinking that their have a lot of workloads to do, seem that no one care about your role and responsible. People here are annoying, and its do irritates me to the max.
However I can’t do anything, I just need to face it and accept it even I don’t really like to.
I’ve no choice. I need to pay for Mr. Ollen as I bought it last year. Moreover I have to repay my debt and future debt to my lovely parents. Oh I miss them. Sincerely to say that I’d just met them. I don’t really know why I’d become so sensitive lately, maybe because I’m suffering from a syndrome known as Pre Menstrual Syndrome. By the way, it’s time for me to do my work but I don’t have a gut to do it. I need to stabilize my mood so that I’d become cheerful and do my work chores without moodiness. I’ve been working here since 4th October 2010. I’ll know one fine day I’ll be transferred to section which is I don’t really want to. Then, what to do? I need to face it by my own. It’s skeptical, really skeptical, so just don’t let your mind tired to think it off.

I’m thinking of better offer right now. I want something better and it’ll tranquil my mind and my soul. I don’t want to be here. Thanks Allah for giving me a chance to work here, I don’t know who is pressurized myself here. Maybe I’m a spoil brat that they shouldn’t think of hiring me. I don’t really know if it is a fault but I do believe that there’s something that we don’t know (supposed to be good impact or effect) and I don’t know it yet. Not yet been revealed or maybe Allah want me to think it deeper and find by my own self. I’m searching myself, the truth of being me and the utterly of why being me.

If I’m too good and near to Allah, maybe I can answer that entire question that I keep on thinking, even now I’m still thinking it off. I don’t know to whom I should share all these rubbishy and I know it’s quite boring. Besides, my creator and you the only want can listen to me without expression, but I don’t really care on that.
The only want can hear me is only you, Mr. B, I’m sad and so sad, I can’t express my inner intuition. I want to cry even I know it would not help my problem and settle down it but it is a way to cure myself from being too stress and pushy towards my conflict of emotion.

You can throw out all those words to me, I’m picky, I’m choosy, I’m fussy, I’m fastidious, I’m pernickety, I’m whatever! But the truth is I’m scared to be one of it. I securely understand that I’m nobody to choose my own style. I’m the one who pleased to face everything that Allah had chosen the best for me. I don’t know what wrong with me right now. Mental disorder? For Godsake!stay away from it. I don’t want any sickness regards brain or whatever. I’m hoping I will in a pink of health. (These words like I’m
Doing English essay on secondary school). There’s no one can understand me well. I knew it. I can’t feel the euphoria of the surroundings. Is there any happiness from deep inside my heart? I’m bored with situation like this. I;m stuck within empathy and compassion. Less energizing, so that i'd become less concious with real fact of life now.

*demotivated mode*

Sunday, April 24, 2011

picca tuk cik Dea

Sy da berjanji nk bg Picca2 neh kt Cik Dea 

sorry sbb lmbt nk bg...


kakak n cik Dea yg vogue


cik Dea yg Cun lg meletup gitu

cik Dea ngn I yg somot!
All this pics was captured on wedding day cik Dea's bro.
it's been a month lebey kot
janji nk bg,,tp skg bru bley nk bg..

FYI, i g Shalam then kakak amek i kt sane so i lepak jap umah kakak kt sg buloh
then lps lepak2 kat umah kakak kt sg. buloh i pon g Gombak,
i da la x reti jln kan so nasib baek parents kakak join ikut kitorg skali
so xd la sesatnye
btw kakak jemput i tp i yg drive smpai umah die
kakak ni cam takut2 sket nk drive ble bwk org
len plak prangainye ngn CIK DEA kte ni
die ni klu bwk kete mmg la mcm nk drift gayanye..

pas gi uma Cik Dea i n kakak pon balek la balek rumah kakak kt sg buloh tu..
pastu kitorg gi Karok kt mall area sinun
agak best jugak la tmpt karok tu
antara tmpt yg agak best and boley layan.
then smpai Shalam da agak malam la jugak

pastu kitorg g mkn kt Shalam 
n i angkut kakak bawak balek Bangi
and pagi2 tu kitorg ronda Alamanda plak
then niat nk karok tp x jadi sbb mahal ya amat..

pastu kitorg g jalan shalam balek
then karok kt area shalam
1 lagu sehinggit
pilih 20 lgu
so sorg rm10 la kot
best jgk la 

tp gmbr jln2 ngn kakak xd 
sbb kakak ni
die bukan jenis camwhore mcm i
i pon cam mls2 nk b'gmbr bagai
jd xd la gmbr kitorg mase b'jln2 aritu

wpon cite ni da lame n da basi
n mcm xperlu nk update pon
tp ade i kesah?
blog i knnnn :P

tp mmg motif utama post ni nk upload gmbar yg Cik Dea nak sgt tu
makanya sy suda menepati janjiku wpon terlambat sedikit suddaa :)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Surga Cinta :)

Terdiam... hanya bisa diam
dingin menyerang... di sekujur tubuhku

Layangkan mata menembus cahaya putih kilaunya
Meneduhkan lamunan

Masih jelas terlihat, pesona ayumu
Masih jelas terasa, getar dawai jiwamu aahhh...

Inikah surga cinta yang banyak orang pertanyakan
Atau hanya mimpi yang tiada pernah berakhir jua

Perlahan bawa semua tanya
Satu bersama... langkah di taman ini

Terangkai bunga tanda cinta murni adanya
Tapi kekasih pun tiada muncul hapus rinduku aahhh...

Di mana aku sedang berada mengapa sendiri
Lari telanjang tanpa seorangpun yang akan mempeduli

Terbanglah cinta sampaikan sayangku hanya bagi dia 
Hanya rasa sepi meratapi malam tanpa dirinya

**thinking not sinking**

Friday, April 22, 2011

netball game

Dear B, 

i promised to show my prizes that we won kan?

so here it is some of the scenes and the prizes

my position was GS

panas2 pn ttp main wpon demam..xkire gak tuu

sweet sungguh memory ini

voucher tesco je nokss

piala yg v all letak kt atas meja boss

champion! wuwwuuwwuu

muka slps main *burn n blushing*

selamat da voucher ni ponn
ni la die prizes nye
xdapat medal pon
just dapat piala
voucher tesco rm50
n tesco voucher tu pon da slamat gunakn dkt tesco sbn 2

senanye i sesat jln mase otw nk g spital tgk my mom
pastu i nmpk trus signboard sbn 2
then i blasah je g
n singgah tesco bli barang jap
makanye i gunakanlah sebaik mungkin voucher yg i dapat tu

my mom da discharge dr spital sbn
thanks Allah :)
n her condition da makin ok
semoga sembuh sepenuhnya

Wednesday, April 20, 2011



that was what i felt~

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Thanks for those yang bg support and do motivate myself.
Thanks rakan2..atas nasihat n kate2 semangat kt i..
ade jgk org yg amik berat.. 
I'm hoping that i akan tabah mghdapi sume ni.
It's just a challenge to live in this beautiful life created by Allah s.w.t.
but i can't hide my sadness all the way.
sometimes i can faking a smile in front of the others,
but my heart?
only Allah knows :)

*eyes can lie*
do my eyes lie?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I've forgotten..

i went for a blogwalking..then too layan smpai i lupa yg sebenarnye i nk update my blog..
Sorry B, for waiting ..

this week so well u known that my previous story was..i accompany my mom here at hospital..btw taken pic at hospital is forbidden..and also using handphone but somehow i think the sign didn't work.. as u all know that we are like to be an "obedient" with all those signage which is i think not convenience in such place so called hospital. My mom recently ok, from the first day she admits at this hospital, but the things is, her kidney still got stone.So surgical doc here will do an appointment with HKL. So basically my mom will not discharge from this hospital. On Monday will update about what they suggest us to do so and they also contact HKL side for further action.

I seem to be "OK" staying at hospital..sleeping and eating here, but take a bath at my home. After my sis come then my shift to accompany my mom end for a's been 3 days i'm sleeping here..

1st day I can't really sleep well. Cannot sleep because of too much noise here, and too bright also.
The bed opposite my mom's bed, the patient there, i don't know what's wrong with her. At 2 am, they are some docs, nurses, surrounded her bed. They use and run some machine to her. i saw it so that i can't sleep well.

Day 2 (night at hospital)
I become the patient..because i sleep before my mom's did.
SOmetime i feel like i'm the one who take care by my mom but not me supposedly to take care of her.
Pity on my mom because have a child like me.
Maybe because i'm too sleepy and can't sleep the day before so that i'll become sleepy on day 2.
Fortunately my mom's bed was change from 6b to 5b. 5b less patient here and there's not too much noise.
So basically 5b is ward for men but it mixed up..need to walk along at the end of this ward actually there also for women's ward.

third day..
hey i'm not sleeping yet because i'm blogging now.
Will update at what time i'll sleep today.

In this evening 2 of my bff did come to visit my mom.
Both of them are my LOVELY YANTI AND SYUHADA.
Thanks coz visiting my mom with the fruits they gave to my mom.

I'm so touched!
Thanks Guys!

 Day 0--> 1st nite i can't sleep well because of this machine.(ACTUALLY IT IS ALMOST 4 NITE'S HERE)
Doc's using it to insert the water in my mom's body.
I thought this machine was not well function.
SO It's tit tit sound will come out. FREQUENTLY OK!
i'M SO touched when i hear my mom's said to the nurse in charge on that night.
she'd worried that the sound discomfort me and the sound did disturb my night and sleep.
Then nurse said to her...what to do makcik...

btw i kantoi captured this pic with medical doc! she saw me captured this with my phone camera.

i took this pic because i can't sleep well that night.
break the rules! but that doc's doesn't care much on taking picture here.
and not to forget there r also an handsome doc named amri
i like to see and watch him doing his work

Thanks Dearie Lappy because did accompany me n my mom's here. NOt to forget my dear hp also.

I'm hoping that my mom get well soon.
Hopefully the stone doesn't effect too much in her kidney.
I'm hoping that everythings gonna be better.
And miracle also gonna happen.
Please Ya ALLAH..
sihatkan ibu bapaku.
Sembuhkanlah penyakit ibuku.
Jauhkanlah kami dari apa2 penyakit.
Hanya padaMu ku memohon pertolongan

I thinks there's  much more to share here..but i don't know how to tell and describe it well.
Dear B, Gudnte :)

Friday, April 8, 2011


Happiness come and go..
Can it be ?

MY mood mixed up
A LIL bit happy then..sometimes not..

but I thankful.. coz there's another chances for myself that Allah still giving on.
THANKS ALLAH for the happiness and everything.

MY MOM da ok a bit n hopefully recover soon.
Hopefully discharge dr wad spital ni dgn kadar segera..


And there's another story behind the scene.
who made me smile and keep on smiling now.
Smile while blogging..
wanna sweet dream n beautiful nightmare now.


the person who i love the most, the person who didn't sleep when i got a fever, the person who worried if i'm not come back yet, the person who prepared my breakfast,lunch n dinner meals if i'm at home, the person who take care of me, the person whom i care the most, she is everything for me.