Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 WITH 4+1 A's

Dear B,

It's almost the end of the year 2012.
I would like to summarize my 2012 in short, but then...
It's okay, i don't think so that I'll share all of it.
Early 2012 is quite interesting for me.
A lot of things happen but then no sparkle impact in my life.
Mid of the year is more interesting, exciting and non expected.
I love mid of the year, there are so many things happen, that change my life a bit.
The significant of memories will be remain in my mind.

Let's back to the topic that would like to share
As you knows, My late luvly mom name is Azizah right.
My mom's name start with A.
so 2011,last year ALLAH takes her from us,
but then in 2012, ALLAH gives us another 4 A's that replace our mom,

Here they are!
Allah grant happiness for my sis and family with new born babies
to replace our deepest sadness last year.
2012 become cheerful and brighten our day with them all.
Allah send us another 4 A's to replace mom.
Thanks Allah for this happiness.
Coincidentally their name starts with A, except for Aleesya, she has Nur, but then we still call her Aleesya instead of Nur Aleesya.

Ateh Noora's tembam baby
 Aleesya Damia
~29th June 2012~

The twin of Alang Dila~Si kembar yang comel ~

Aufa Naurah (left)

Auni Nusrah (right)

~3rd October 2012~

last but not least
latest baby of Angah Aju

Annur Insyirah
~21 December 2012~

Allah did lend me an A also, 
but then it's just for a while, 
a happiness in short term but i do appreciate it 
because I learn to love someone and 
I experience an unique feeling at the end of this year,
 seriously I never felt this feeling before and wonder why i have to feel it, 
they say, at least u know how it felt to be love and in love,
 to be hurt and hurting the most..
Thanks again Allah, 
You made me realize that the only A that can be lasting forever, 
the only A that can't dump me, 
can be LOVE and in love forever is only you ALLAH

I'm hoping that my relationship with  A will last forever but then Allah knows better than anyone else right? 
Allah knows better than me, so just don't sigh and regret everything happen to me this year.
Things happen lately made me realize to "tuqarribbu Ilallah"
Wanna be more positive starting today, tomorrow and forever lahhhh 
May 2013 bring more happiness, joy, and prosperous for us

Give me a


can I?

A's yang ALLAH kurniakan hanyalah pinjaman,
Mak dah pun pergi
Anak2 buah jadi pengganti
tapi harus ingat,
 suatu masa nanti kita pasti akan pergi 
kepada yang hakiki,
semua yang ada didunia ni milik ALLAH yang abadi.
Tak ada yang kekal

one of my wishlist next year is, I want to be a good girl a better muslimah
ewaaah~ hehe :)
B, pls doa for me k :)
till meet again B
*hug n kisses*

Thursday, December 27, 2012

271112 and 271212

Can you see it clearly B?
It's been a month since A said he wanted to be my friend 
Then he wrote "something" on my November 2012 calendar
after he said that "hurt the most" statement
it is easy to say it right, but then to make it real it quite hard to do so.

I will keep the notes save with me..
Save in my memory!
and not in a month he's no longer mine.
I try to persuade my heart
cajole my heart with any other things
but yet it still hurt,

I don't want to be sad,
keep on pretending,
I just don't want that..

If only A knows that 
I love him more than he do..
Forever in love with him and just only him
eventho He's not loving me anymore
As I always said, Love him MORE!
and today 271212,
~DAY 30~
without daily notes that usually pass to him..
I just can only see him and talk without any true heart feeling expression.
I need to control myself from being overboard.
Know the limit of being friend!
and I think that he also want to get rid of me.
It is true i think, I can feel it..I just don't know,
seem that he also want to try it
Help me to be strong Ya Allah,
It's hurt when u can't even say your true feeling towards your loved one.
The pain that can't be described in a word.

Thanks Allah coz i can still smile eventho my heart was totally broken.
merely Thanks Allah, coz I can still smile in front of him.
Thanks Buddies (Diana, Syuhada, Shafrina and Izyana)
U are there when I always need you.
Patiently listen and hear my noise of tears, my pain of unhappy ending love story.
Thanks for being there.
Appreciated it so much.

Repeatedly read his note, make me smile for a while.
when this madness will stop from being seriously messed

P/s: B, actually i want to write more, but then i felt as u r no longer can listen to my heart destruction problem, so i'll handle it by myself. Hopefully it can cure soonest possible.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page

2.30am! almost three!
nape x ley lelap nieh :'(


Sunday, December 23, 2012

8 Hari and Heart Destruction Day today~

My BFF say that I have 8 days for ...........

My heart was taken by you
and broken by you~

I wish I had a heart that was never broken I wish I had words that were never spoken. I wish I could dream like I've never awaken. I wish I could live in a world where no one's faking.'
including myself, no faking!

Doa dan harapan tak akan pernah putus~

May Allah show me the way...

Sedey2, then baca lg message dlm message box!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Getting Near!

I Risau!
But I Shudn't have to worry right.
I don't know what I supposed to do B.
Keep on thinking about A again.

Last note from him yesterday.
I'm starting to miss him so much already.
and I just don't want to know about tomorrow
Can I B?
B...I'm deeply hurt..if only u know it...
A..IMYSM n ILYSM..I'm scared of can't express that words again to u..

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Baby Boo Blog !

Dear B,


I'm google'ing something.

Guess what it is?


"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Dr. Seuss


"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."
Mother Teresa







Boleh usha dekat link ni:



I've decided!



NO more sad episode.



B, wait for my new entry with the happy mode k!

I'm hoping it will be happy episode.

Amin :)






Sunday, December 16, 2012

Kau Yang Terindah OST-Alyah

    Ku Disini Mengalunkan Rindu Yang Resah

Aku Disini Memuja Bayangmu

setiap Detik Degup Nadiku Hanya Untukmu

Cinta Membara Jiwa Gelora

Kau Yang Terindah Didalam Hidupku

Hanya Cintamu Mekar Selamanya

Tak Inginku Lagi Mencintai Yang Lain

Kau Telah Mengikatku Selamanya

Ku Disini Menantikan Janji Yang Hilang

Aku Disini Menghitung Harapan

Setiap Detik Tiap Nafasku Ada Cintamu

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang

Kau Yang Terindah Didalam Hidupku

Hanya Cintamu Mekar Selamanya

Tak Inginku Lagi Mencintai Yang Lain

Kau Telah Mengikatku Selamanya

Ku Disini Menantikan Janji Yang Hilang

Aku Disini Menghitung Harapan

Setiap Detik Tiap Nafasku Ada Cintamu

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang

Bagai Semalam Semuanya Hilang

Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Dinner and The Story Behind~



SITI NOR with me :)




ME more

ok me me



me yg sememangnye serabut this time

ni bukan belakon~

R n R having lunch but I'm not

ada lg?I text A!

me n them

me from the far

the A front of me

the don't what to say

final pic~

all of those captured pictures were taken when we had an Annual Dinner at Johor

Dear B,

There's something to share here,
One week ago,Eh? no..not! Two weeks ago la..
 Samsung had organised an event.
We had our annual Dinner at Johor
and before that we went to Legoland!
Seriously Legoland was not awesome at all.
Quite bored there plus the queue was annoyed too.
There's so many people there, and I ended up only watching 4D movies jer...
but I think much better than Ct Nor la, coz she spent the day with slept at the Surau.
Not worth it right?

I hoped and wished that I spent my full day at Legoland with A, but then it won't happen.
I try to avoid myself from A. Go away from A. The things that I supposed to do. Oops, I should and I need to do it.

Stray away from him is the best thing to do,
in fact we have try so many times to forget each other,
but it doesn't work at all.!
A lot of ways which is failed finally.
In fact not in a single day I can forget A, how come it can become so easy as what people out there said.
It's easy to say but when come to actual, to do it, it becomes so hard and getting tougher day by day.
Seriously I don't know what happen to me, this is just not me.
No wonder I never felt this way before.
Allah knows that I can't face all this.

We met at the pool and I'm so happy that A yelled and said that
A loves me
A said " I love U SITI"
it is just overwhelming me from my uncomfort zone.
He L:O:V:E:S Me
If A knows that I loves him more than he do,
More that he knows,
A would not let things happen like this.
To end up with separation is just not cool at all.
A asked to take pics, but yet I didn't reply him.
A text me because we didn't see each other that night.
Our table is quite far from each other.

Dear A,
You know what?
All those pictures above supposed to have u besides me.
But then even a single piece? There's no YOU!
It is so pathetic!
But then, this is your decision, you let the things happen.
I'll respect it!
Please don't play with my heart and true feelings towards you.
You are the one that I can only think now.
I never felt this way before, everything that I do,
Reminds me of you.
I don't know how i should react in front of you with you new status soon
Heart Destruction Day for me :'(

My Girl - Theme song2

Thursday, December 13, 2012



Dear B,

         I've neglected you since,......... I'm not sure when, but then I felt that I've been tired for all the things that happen lately. Since I'd falling in love with A, I just forget about you B, but then, I have to love B more than A right? because you are my Baby Boo Blog that I loved the most. The B that i can share all my thoughts, my blabbering, my happiness, my sadness, my nagging and my everything. It is just that i can't no more share my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness and my sadness to A anymore. I just can't share with A. Alphabetically A comes 1st before B right but then I have to love my B before I can love my A. Oops A is no longer mine. How come my A?. I supposed to write the A. A is not mine anymore, It is damn hard to say so, that A is no longer mine. I'd suffered enough for this drama. Is it a drama? I'm not sure, I just don't know what i felt now, things getting worsen. I just don't know how to react, yet still hoping for the things which is finally won't be happened. The difficulties seem getting harder to understand. Physically look like okay but actually it is not like what people expect from me.

B, I think I can't write anything and can't tell anything to you. There's anonymous which is stalking and keep on reading what i write in here. I just want to share with you Dear B, I just don't know to whom I should share to. I've friends, but I can't give them all the pressure, I just can share but yet I just feel it on my own. I don't want to be sad anymore. I just want to be happy. Can i borrow Mr Happy from Dealove? I would love to hug Mr. Happy as he is huggable ted that I've ever known. I miss my momma! I miss her, and feel like to hug her now. I want to cure from this disease so called love, She will comfort me whenever i fall and demotivated like this. I miss my mom~ I miss her so much, yet I don't know to whom I should share to, because B has no more security or privacy in telling everything. Mom, if you are here then, I would tell my tears cause, my sadness and madness to you, I would share my joy with you, I would kiss you and hug you mom, it will comfort me from my uneasiness feelings, mommmmmm~ i miss you so much, do you hear me? I'm in pain :'( ..I want to cry in front of you mom...I love you so much. There's no one who will love and care about me like you did. I can't control this feeling on my own.

It's hurt to lose someone that you love the most, there's no pain worsen than that feelings. I lose mom, I lose A, I also need to lose you B, since you are no more secure to tell what i felt. I have to do it. Yes! I need to do it! Let them go with Redha. Losing someone that you care and you love is something that devastating and terribly hurt. The pain is mysterious feelings. I just don't want to feel this weird feeling again. Please Allah, let me cure and let me free from this dull and unhappy condition after all  I wish for happily ever after love story like people out there feels it. I'm an ordinary person also known as normal girl who has feelings and can express her feeling too. Recently enjoyable moments seem that ineffective towards to get me into euphoria feelings. It's not reliable right? and it was not cool too. The cold of the heart is what I felt now, It's just a mess, and yet I know A was not serious at the first place. A is just want to play around. A is not really love me. I just know that, A is just pity on me.A just don't want me. A is cruel, A made me confident of himself and after that A left me just like that. A broke his promises, to me in fact his promises in front of my mom too. So i better get rid of him and get rid of being fooled once again. Can I say that? Can I bear in my mind of that statement? Can I? so that I can forget about him....


B, Can you lend your shoulder, for me to cry on?
Can you do it baby boo blog? 
I'm sure you will if you have shoulders right?
but I know, u don't have one.

Please be realistic Siti!
You are not in fantasy~

This is not a SHREK's LOVE STORY with FIONA,
can live happily ever after, after they gone through all the challenges.
Please WAKE UP from this dream~

Please SITI help yourself, you need to be strong..
No one can help you instead  of yourself~
keep up the faking smile :)
No more cries :'(


If the distance will faded our love.... I just don't want it to be fade away...

Saturday, December 8, 2012


Lagi nak lupa lagi teringat

Lagi nak pergi lagi terikat

Lagi nak jauh lagilah dekat

Lagi nak rasa tak nak lagi nak rasa nak


Tade lagi lagi boleh tak...

Kan best kalau memang tade lagi~




This awkward and weird feeling seem that can't be go away from me!

I just don't want to feel guilty towards anyone~

I just don't want!



Dear A,

Do you know what i feel right now?

I'm suffer~~~

I just don't want to feel this pain~


I don't want to lie ..

lie to myself n everyone..

pretend to be happy but I'm not..

faking a laughter in front of them

but cries when no one there!

Why it is so difficult?

Why there's no solution at all?

Why my heart felt so heavy and uneasy?


I just don't know why~

I heart u forever~