REAL......

kata

Adolescence is just a mess!
I'm getting to far from HIM.
I don't know what i should do from now on.
I want to be a good girl. Be success in whatever i do.
Do there is a time for me. Can i achieve my goals and my target. Is there any space for me to repent.
i know someday i would left from this beautiful world.
but do i fully preparing myself to face it. Do i know when the right time is? I don't know, and i should care. i'm hoping to guide myself as what i know and learn before and hoping someone can guide me too. People do change and so do i. Sometimes i want happiness but sometimes happiness doesn't remain by my side. sometimes what actually we want are not meant for us. SO let appreciate whatever we have now otherwise we will regret it later. It's so hard to be me but i know the hardness is a way to learn and whereas maturity begun.
One of my neighbor passed away yesterday. Let's recite Al-Fatihah to her. Let her rest in peace.



My mom bit surprised coz i attended the funeral ceremony.
She said that "mak x sangko ko datang, x b'suruh pn datang"
then i replied " da bosa mak, xkan nak b'suruh br nk datang, pandailah pikir"

ermm it is proven that my behavior like a lil child . But i think i'm adult already but absolutely differ from what my mom expect me to be.

Mak saya kata tak suka jangan layan
Kawan saya kata saya ni memilih
Saya kata saya tak tahu lah!


saya rasa saya ni bermasalah lah
lebih baek kamu jauhkan diri dari saya sekarang
kalau tidak kamu mungkin bermasalah semacam saya juga!

Song entitled TAMAN Astakona :P

i don't ever knew that there is a song entitle above
until someone did sing it to me
so i asked what the title of it
1st time i did hear it
i think i like too
layan rockapak ah plak kn
:P
hoho

My G

it's been 8 years pass by

days come n go

but he still

his love remain

only for her

even he knew that she had no longer here

no more accompany him

wherever he go

whatever he do

she left him

left him all alone

but the loneliness doesn't make sense

because she left him with their child

she never left him alone even the real fact is

she already left us

but i respect the true love of him

he still can stand to be a men without a women

no one can be like that

he is

only he is

he is my Grandpa

i know he misses her too much

too much that can't be count off

the strength and the eyes

can't lied to us

once a year

he did the effort to clean up her place

it's show his love never be changed

even time can't change it

only ALLAH know

the truth is.

i never met a men just like him

i mean his love only for one

but i do met people who can

gives their love to everyone

do it count as a pure love?

u can like many people but

u can only love one

once u said u love her

u must and only love her

no matter what happen to her

u will be by her side

u can't left her

u can't hurt her

that's the truth love is

her word might harsh

her attitude might rude

but u can accept her the way she is

if u really love her.

but now

u said u love me

then

u left me

u r too cruel

u r too much

i can't stand to see u

it's just that

i know that previously

u just play with my heart

i don't want to hate u

but u did everything that make me

change my mind

thus

i said i hate u

deep inside my heart

i know

Bowl and breaking d fast at CHicken Hartz Snwy Pyrmd.

Gua rase arini mcm nk tempek gmbr je kt sini

Gua rase mcm lain je plak post ni..kenape ye?

hah!

baru Gua perasan bhw gua telah memakai ayat yg agak RARE disitu

pndai plak b'gua2.com.my ni sejak bile pulak kn

mgkin pengaruh utk m'jd gangster x jd gua mse dulu2 kale

ceh! geli pon ade gune gua2 ni heh..

haha

btw ni picca my mummy n her colleague mse buke pose

i sje join sbb busan2 kn

so mummy pon ajak

she n her twin agak gila2 sket

besh kwn ngn dorg ni

happening je

but ktrg da prob sket

mslh xtau jln

n slumber kodok je blsh men jln

Da la, mls nk b'cerabih da

layan je la picca2 yg gua upload ni

Sekian!

dlm byk2 gmbr tu

MY FAV is THIS

xtau knp tp i ase pic ni cm poyo sket

kn3?

:P haha

  

Dear B, 

i tgh serabut sbenarnye ni

tp i pretend cm xd ape yg blaku je

ok la B

sok i nk kje da

wish me luck 4 2mrw n onwards k

i'm hoping for a solution 4 my unscrupulous questions!

~messyLILgal~

~TGH SERABUT~ 

please be informed

not feeling well

i'm not feeling well

running nose again

kepale mcm keTING keTONG da

lately can't stand to stay up until 2-3am

even worse only can stand until 12

AIYOH! even 10 da kiong2 and    

sleepy!

lappy till on until 5-6am but actually  

the girl in front of d lappy is having a nice dream sleeping 

w/out  pillow and comforter

didn't plan to sleep but coincidentally sleeping until Subuh

wanted to update but rarely best stories to tell

poor B

don't know what to update

a single word lost 

coz having not so well condition

and also bb didn't give  fully co-operation

always DC  such a sudden n ikt skati die

poor network here 

it's more about jealousy but nonchalant

so confused but i know there's something behind that we don't know yet

there'll be something unexpectedness and explicitly can't be understand by people out there

Get rid of me coz i might hurting you

it's true if it's not you that i mean

please go away!

Raya lg :)

2nd day of RAYA

xtau nak update ape tp mcm nk letak gmbar ni je

sekian la utk post kali ni..

c u later on :p

:) i love it when it about raya :)

~waiting for my sis..gonna go back home today~

another raya episode

i love the mood of raya

and smell of Holidays 

haha..lied2

smell of various food and festive cookies 

yes! I like

2morrow confirm need to cook many types of food

such as Lemang-this is compulsory ok

Rendang and also many things to do.

 ~RAYA MOOD~

pssstttt!

curios x i slu update blog recently?

muahahaha

x bz ker???

actually juz sbscrbing new celc brdbnd..

dunno until when i'll b using it

:)

Don't know what title supposed to be :p

Today bit tiring but i still can manage and fasting succesfully.

HOHO :P

i saw Kaklong on my way to Sony  today

she's bit thinner than before.

when i'll become thin?

of coz can't :P

bit tough to b like that.

i don't know what to tell about actually but i want to update and blogging now

tomorrow i'm gonna go back home.

can't wait to go back

so fortunately this year i didn't have to buy a ticket penang to n9

yeah!

it's finally over with over worried about no ticket to go back home for raya

FLASHBACK...

during my university time i did.........

(2 b continue if i want to tell)

Basically Happy Hari Raya in advance :)

May This Raya brings along happiness in ur life.

will update later on about raya day

InsyaALLAH :)

I'm so thankful about today.

It's such a sudden that i got into this..

THANKS ALLAH for the new challenges :)

Dear B

Dear B,

I lied to u

i didn't study for today

i kept on on9 and wasting my time reading new moon

sorry B

Didn't mean to lie to you

btw i', listening to i love the way u lie

do u love the way i lie?

:p

sorry B,

juz kidding k :)

ILOVETHEWAYYOUULIE-

~in d right mood of updating blog everyday

 and 

posting everything that i think i shouldn't post~

B.o.r.e.d.o.m.

SUNDAY-Sept 5, 2010 it's been a bored day today. don't know what to do but actually my friend did invite me to go out with them, but i don't really want to go out. My money for sure will finish easily if i go out with them.So morning i wasted my time with sleeping, because yesterday i did sleep late at night. In fact i slept at 3-4 am. I'm not so sure but certainly at that kind range of time. I have no shoes for raye also tudung for raya. I might be using the old stuff of mine for this becoming raye. I'm so stingy! Don't even to buy new one for myself. It's bit tough n hard to live at KL with minimum amount of allowance. My budget and savings are not so much for that only for shopping unnecessary things. I should stop spending money for useless stuff. But actually, the real fact is i really want to buy a wedges for this upcoming special day i mean raya day la. i'm hoping to get it but if i don't have it now i will buy it later. it's not only for raya right?.
weekend? what to do huh? blogging is the right things to do if ....erk.. i have forgotten..i need to prepare for this tuesday..sorry dear, i'll get back to u after i done studying :p

Pets of mine

just want to introduce my mom's pet here

cute huh?

i don't really like cats,

but now i think i change my mind

i'm starting liking it so much

:p

one of my friend said

and advise me to take care of any pets

so now i got 1 fish

actually 6 previously but another 5 dead 

maybe i don't know how to take care of it

so they gone

i'm hoping for the only fish that i have

hoping that it lives longer that what i expected.

i already bought new house for my fish

quite cute n of coz i like it

but unfortunately only 1 fish alive

another 5 didn't have the opportunity to live in that new 'house'

pity on them

actually i'm bit sad

i cried bcoz i think that i do not have the ability to have and taking

care of a pet

at least 1 accompany me until now

i'm hoping that it will be lasting

i have no pic of my fish

i'll upload later if i have one

:P

u can c d pic of d owner of d pets k :P

 :P

i'm getting too much syndrome of Laziness

plz get off LAZY-BONE!

Ali-ali-HANdro

iNTRO
I know that we are young and I know that you may love me,
but I just can’t be with you like this anymore, Alejandro.

VERSE 1
She’s got both hands in her pocket
And she won’t look at you (won’t look at you)
She hides true love en su bolsillo
She’s got a halo around her finger
Around you

HOOK
You know that I love you boy
Hot like Mexico, rejoice
At this point I’ve gotta choose
Nothing to lose

CHORUS
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Alejandro
I’m not your babe,
I’m not your babe, Fernando
Don’t wanna kiss
Don’t wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette and hush
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Roberto

Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro
Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro

Stop
Please, just let me go
Alejandro, just let me go

VERSE 2
She’s not broken
She’s just a baby
But her boyfriend’s like her dad
Just like a dad
And all those flame that burned before him
Now he’s gotta firefight
Got-cool the bad

HOOK
You know that I love you boy
Hot like Mexico rejoice
At this point I’ve gotta choose
Nothing to lose

CHORUS
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Alejandro
I’m not your babe,
I’m not your babe, Fernando
Don’t wanna kiss
Don’t wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette and hush
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Roberto

Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro
Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro

BRIDGE
Don’t bother me,
Don’t bother me, Alejandro
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, bye Fernando
I’m not your babe,
I’m not your babe, Alejandro
Don’t wanna kiss,
Don’t wanna touch, Fernando

Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Alejandro
I’m not your babe,
I’m not your babe, Fernando
Don’t wanna kiss
Don’t wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette and hush
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Roberto

CHORUS
Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro
Alejandro, Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro,
Ale-Alejandro

OUTRO //Note in this section, counter-melody repeats last section of
chorus
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Alejandro
I’m not your babe,
I’m not your babe, Fernando
Don’t wanna kiss
Don’t wanna touch
Just smoke my cigarette and hush
Don’t call my name,
Don’t call my name, Roberto

Alejandro…

i am not me

there r too many to write but i don't know which i should tell 1st

it's been 3 month i'm here

so i just follow with the flow

there are some changes

i mean inside n outside me

i did sins

unexpected sins that i can't avoid off

i hate being someone else

or actually i'm the one who got the attitude.

i hate being the one that i don't recognized at all

am i going too far?

can i'll be forgiven?

everyone did mistakes

but do my repentance accepted?

too much to babble about

unfathomable to think deeper

so hard of being me

did that words count as i am not appreciating what i have now

i want more

pls!
i want better and better

i'm just normal human being

i'm hoping for better n more

TEN of Ramadhan

hey dear B

miss u so much

its been a while

da 10TH Ramadhan pon

lupe nk wish kt u

Happy Fasting Month

:)

Pose x ni?

mst x la kn

da mlm2 ni..

pose ape plak

okay just want to share

my tight sched this week

actually i da tuka bos

dlu kn i cte En Kamarul my boss

but now

i kne trnsfer unit plk

kene p kt integrated sales management

instead of jd assistant wimax manager

skg jd assistant integrated sales manager

aiyoh!

task amat la berat

mcm compiler,

but then i need to face it

wteva it is,keje2 admin n bussiness support team

x dpt byg pnt n brape x phmnye keje yg kene buat

da la deal ngn org2 high level

mcm GM (general Manager)

i'm not good in this

i'm just fresh grad

mcm demotivated pn ade

kdg2 rase di humiliate pn ade

but then i x sabar tggu budak yg nk gnti i tu

suppose die msuk bulan september ni

i x lrt la nk handle

so stress

i nk kje len

sedih la

org len sume da dpt kje

ayu, aizan..i? msh je kt cni lg

k la..stop about working issue.

i need to motivate myself

rezeki ade kt mane2 kn

xpe je

layan je la dlu keje ni

i'm hoping for better tomorrow

Just wanna share a bit picca

my housemate ajak buke pose ngn syarikat NAZA aritu

kt JW Marriot Hotel..dkt dpn Pavi tu

:P

besh gler

mkn busat mlm tu..

tp x dpt la mkn sume.. byk sgt kot.. x lrt weh :p

Beyonce - Broken Hearted Girl [HD] 1080p

Lyrics | Beyonce lyrics - Broken Hearted Girl lyrics

sad day story :( episode 3 :(

This is real hurt
demotivated me to d max
for real

~CRYING MODE~

 1st Ramadhan..
Challenging with this bad news
bad news for me :(
 i'm FAILED

i want to smile like this again

10:57pm

huarghh..
i'm sleepy
don't know why
but lately
i'm seriously sleepy at early time
Dear B,
just wanna have happy blessing from u
wish me luck for tomorrow
i'm so nervous now
forsure my nervousness will increase tomorrow

:)

~demotivated~

Something uncertain
but i i'm hoping for it
something that i know i can't grab it
even the opportunity just in front of me
i can close my eyes
try to forget it
but actually i can't close my mind
to stop thinking about it
i don't know where i am
where to go
i'm bit confused!
NO!
BIG NO!
not BIT confused btw,
but exactly i'm totally confused :(
too comfort even it not so perfect
but i think i can breath
at least i can
i'm not so sure till when i'll be here
till when i can stand
till when i can bear it in my mind
lying to myself even get worse
i mean it can be worse if i'm not
taking any action to resolve it
or to revert everything
and conclude with something positive
in a positive way
but the way is actually not the right way to follow
is it sinful to say that
i'm totally not like=hate running nose
hate it!
just go away
i don't want u to mingle and stay with me again
please.
fade away!

MUCHless

i wonder when i will sleep without any nightmare
I'm hoping that i can manage to do my work
as clean, as smooth as tidy as i can
why it's so hard to feel secure
i don't know why i pretend to be happy
but actually deep inside my heart
it's differ
absolutely differ from what i felt
do i hypocrite?
or hypocrisy is crucial in our life right now
i mean MY live, it better to state that
i smile a lot :)
i can smile
i want happiness remain even though i know it can't
i'm just a person who r dreaming about
happily life ever after

just want to introduce my current bf
oh i'm in love with him

4sure Fahrin mengamok pasni! ahaha :P

I'm a bit weird b'coz i'll liking 2nd hero much than 1st hero
can say almost movie i watched, i prefer 2nd hero
awkward taste :(
Don't blame me..blame them!
haha

~really want to tell~

 Dear Mr. B,

i have a lot of story to tell  you

it just that i don't have enough time to blog about

it's hectic and absolutely pathetic here

I MISS U, B

i learn much

and 

i hate this word btw,

Sense Of Urgency!

BERTAHAN!!!!

i have to attend UJIAN BERTULIS for this upcoming MONDAY

at SME corp. Jln Duta

wish me luck dear B!

sad day story :( Episode 2 :(

today like was I'm not going to think about sad things again

yesterday i do have officially email address

after a month i need to wait for it

it is myfullname.myfather'sname@tm.com.my

I got an email from my senior (USM & GEMS), he is also my colleague at TM

what did he send me?

GUESS WHAT?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

here is

at least this pic make me smile :)

tq to the beruk!

but only for a while..

then i read 1 post

related to mine 

i mean my probs :(

SO that, my tears flow again

damn hate it!!!!

i don't want to cry anymore! 

SERIOUSLY..

I  don't want to feel th3 PAIN again :(

I'm hoping that no more sad day story Episode 3 !

~i'm trying so hard to cure my pain n sadness~ 
~dear B, it hurt so much~

sad day story :( Episode 1 :(

(MON & prev days)



..................i felt dizziness..i felt burden in my head..i felt cold .................. 
felt so hard to wake up in the morning..felt like to fall....got fever plus swollen tonsils.. :(
whatever..i need to go to the office no matter what..


Open my PC n i read emails


EMAIL received from : Norliza Razali Aka ALONG

Content: too private to reveal
family matters


Conclusion : tears flow heavily like a river :( uwaaaa
..................................





I wrote a note to my boss

En Kamarul,

I'm going to the clinic at Annexe 2.If anything, pls call me.


                                                                                         Siti.


Back from the clinic another love note i put it on my boss's table.


En Kamarul,


I got MC for today (5/7/2010).


                                              Siti.









(TUES)Yesterday 

on my way back to rent house..i got a call from my lil bro..

Adik : Acik lptp acik org tu x buleh buek..kono tuka mother board

Acik: Bapo kono eh klu tuka?

Adik: Dlm RM700 lobeh..org tu x buleh buek..klu nk kono anta ACER centre..

Acik: Maha lak ai..ee (dlm ati mcm nk nanges..baek boli baru yo? mano nk dapek duet ni ? )

Adik: Kito share la baya..

mmg mcm nk nanges pn mase tau tu.da dpt agak da mcm ni.sbb klu xbley on je mst org tu da xbley wt ape da :(
laz week n dis week so mcm2 mnde yg wt i touching2 sket
rase nk nanges je..i can't bear to hide my sadness..
damn loves my baby lappy..oh no..can't face the fact that u r not here anymore..nk mrh n slhkn adik pon da letih da..xlrt nk ckp ape da..npe slu je jd cmni ek..mcm2 je hal yg sedey


 Message received yesterday

 ..........

Cinderella :haah bestfren..nnt jd la boyfren 2..wakakakaka... Beb, tettt da kapel ek?

(WED)Today

Rapunzel : Beb, die da kapel ke? Mne u tau? I xtau da pape psl die..da xcntct I lg die..sori smlm i  da tdo..

Cinderella:  Beb, kt FB la..dia in a relationship with TETTT  klo x silap i,..

Rapunzel : Ye ke? Xpe la.die bkn jdh i..nk wt cmne kn..2 pn da nmpk die bukan suke kt i pn..

............

When i said i want to be ur friends only that doesn't mean that i had rejected u..don't felt that u r rejected ok..i need time and space for myself.. i just want to be ur friend, know u well, before i can open up my heart..fully open to welcome u into my life.. if that things really makes u happy..just go ahead..i need time to persuade my heart..u can't force me..same goes to me to..i want u to be happy..the things is..i scared being frustrated..n actually i always feel that..my life..juz don't care..when u did this to me.. it's revealed that u r actually not really love me..btw u r not trying to..not even try to maintain our relationship..


Ya ALLAH, 
ampunilah dosa2ku, dosa kedua ibu bapaku, keluargaku, rakan2ku..dan seluruh umat islam di dunia ini. Ya ALLAH, tabahkan lah hatiku menempuh dugaanmu..sesungguhnya hatiku rapuh dan mudah tersentuh dengan segala apa yg berlaku.Ya ALLAH yg Maha Pemurah lg Maha Mengasihani, jauhilah daku dari segala kehinaan dan segala kedukaan. Jauhilah kami dari bala bencana dan api neraka. Sesungguhnya hanya kepadamu kami memohon petunjuk dan pertolongan.


to cajole my heart and my tears to stop flowing, i always remember that..


ALLAH x kn beri ujian yg slgmana mnusia tu xbley nk tggung..kesimpulannya ALLAH akan beri ujian yg mampu ditanggung oleh umat manusia itu..termasuk lah diri ini..baru je kne test sket..da lbey2 plak kn..

need to motivate myself..cheer up beb! 

hopefully dis girl strong enough to face the real fact in her life 
-AMIN-

sad day story :(

phm x?
klu phm salute la sket :P
part of my task
i also really don't understand
hopefully to understand better soon
okay today i'll take half day
(suke ati x?)
mcm company sndr plak kn
:P
POYO jer!
i want to go to JLN DUTA in this evening
c my sis n have some important things to do
so wish me Luck k
hopefully  i'll get that post
i'm so thankful :) IF I GET la

i'm so sad dear B,
coz my dearie baby lappy is sick :(
critical coz can't even on :(
i can't hanging around n mingle with my lappy again
i also don't know if i can still use it later on
can repair huh?
i've no idea on that
LAPPY MASUK AIR :(
seb bek tuan nye x masuk gak :P

da mls nk layan sedey
ade rezki ade la :P

hOMIE

why the feeling when we at home isn't same when at the other place?

why we felt peace, tranquil, warm, comfort at our home

i really want to feel those same things when i'm not at my home

HEAVEN AT HOME RIGHT NOW :)

Award

Dapat award lagik!

ni kali ke bape ek?

x hengat plak kn..B4 ni KISS n MYRA ade bg..tp busy

 bile dpt award xsempat nk announce officially kt my blog

so ni kire 1st officially award lah ek

THANK MISS BUCK

sbb bg award neh eh

tp blog ni x best mne2 pon

JUZ personal blog of mine je.

T&C for this award ialah...

1. Anda mesti memuji si pemberi award ini.

Miss BUCK ni kiut lah..bile nk kwen ngn pakwan ni?Mst expected bby kiut mcm makwan :P

2. Sila beri award nie kepada 10 bloggers yang laen.(Excited ni nak bg award kat orang)

hannah zaharudin

yanti

syuhada

sheila

diana

kulaab 

ayu

kiss

myra 

zaizul

3. Anda mesti memberitahu kepada 10 blogger tadi.

erk..klu dorg bce post ni sile amek sndri k :)

4.Bagaimana anda boleh digelar sebagai blog yang best, great?

sbb xd yg best dr yg best2 blake

AYAH DEN :)

Such a sudden i remember someone said like this

"my dad is a bad man"
not BATMAN..but BAD man

and I said
" I understand"

why he said like that because his mom suffered a lot
and as a result maybe he hates his father.

but today i coincidently read about this


DaripadaAbu



Hurairah r.a, sabda Rasulullah s.a.w, maksudnya:“Janganlah kamu


membenci bapa-bapa kalian. Sesiapa yang membenci bapanya bererti ia


kafir.” (Riwayat Muslim)
 
 
but i know his situation why he feels like that towards his father. Can't blame himself.
 
 
So,
 
Happy belated Fathers DAY..
eventhough it already past
still want to wish to my dad
Happy Fathers Day
U r d great!
I LOVE u so much
I'm so thankful that u r my dad
MY best dad ever
No1 can replace u
:)
Thank You for being nice to me.
 

 

balek yeayy!

mggu ni nk balek kg kek pilah

uwan den nk baka lomang

:P

 

JOM balek pilah jom